Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

Monday, June 11, 2007

I'm in a posting mood.

I already posted once today...nothing new to report on the adoption front. Kind of emotional at times. I think through this whole process, everything has seemed surreal...almost like I was just going through the motions. Today with all my certified documents in my hands and knowing it was down to one was kind of like getting the official stamp of approval. I kind of expected all along the way for someone to step in and say "what do you think you're doing, you can't do this." Now with these documents all approved, I feel a sense of permanency. I'm not explaining this very's just such a weird emotion. I think being single and being the "baby" in the family, sometimes I don't feel grown up. I still look at my cousin Juli (6 months my senior) and think "I can't imagine her teaching junior-high-schoolers." Likewise, it is hard to imagine me running a busy night shift in the ER. But maybe I am grown-up enough for this!

I remember when I went to the information meeting with CHI (thanks Tammie Perkins) and I asked Tammie what obstacles I would have being single...she gave me a strange look and said, "it's not going to make a difference." She even pointed out that I would have less paperwork to gather than couples and couples with kids. Point taken! I also had a dream a while back that I was reading our chat group and one of the members whispered (like you can whisper on a computer!) that she had heard that CHI was kicking me out but they weren't going to tell me. Needless to say, that has not happened.

So, I'm traveling a new road in life. Not sure why this step hit home more than the others...I think the stress and exhaustion surrounding all the paperwork has left me emotionally drained. I can't wait for Stacie and Jenni and some of the others to get their referrals. What a boost in the adoption moral that will be!

I start a new job tomorrow. Not really a new position as much as a new role within my position. I will be taking the new nursing school grads and precepting them through their mentorship program within the hospital. It gives me an opportunity to do some teaching (which I love) in a more controlled environment, rather than trying to teach and work a trauma at the same time. It is kind of a trial run to see if the new grads benefit and may turn into something permanent. I'll still work my weekends in the ER and anytime the orientees have a class, etc. Once I've trained all the current new grads, I'll be back to straight ER...that is the current plan. About the only big change is that I'll get to pick my own schedule but I'm staying with nightshift (desparately saving every penny and that shift differential is very lucrative).

So, we'll see what this week holds. May prove to be one of the strangest ones I've had for awhile. I've not had much change in my life lately; just cruising along for the ride. Time to shake things up before the major earthquake (parenthood) hits!


Stacie said...

I know what you're saying - it is hard to articulate, but it hits me every now and then that this is real, and really happening. We're all going to be moms! :) Thanks for the referral wish - I'm having one of those thin patience days, so it's nice to know you're pulling for us! :) I just cannot wait to see that sweet face of our child. Ok- enough bloggin' :) I'm off to bed!!