Conversations with a Back Seat Driver Rider

On the way to school this morning...

Mari: Momma, I go to Abigail’s burtday party.
Me: Mari, we’ll go in a couple weeks. Did you have fun playing with Abigail yesterday?
Mari: Uh-huh. I pway with Unca Todd.
Me: Was that fun?
Mari: Yup. Unca Todd my buddy.
Me: Oh? Unca Todd is your buddy? Do you have any more buddies?
Mari: Brady Behm.
Me: I thought Brady was your boyfriend?
Mari: He’s my buddy boyfriend Brady Behm.
Me: Is Mommy your buddy?
Mari: Noo-waa! (two syllable NO)
Me: I’m not? Am I your little girl?
Mari: Nooo-waa! You not a wittle girl. You a big girl.
Me: Oh!! So I’m your big girl?
Mari: Noo-waa! You not my big girl!
Me: Well, that makes me sad. If I’m not your buddy and I’m not your big girl, then what am I?
Mari: You my MOMMY!!
Me: Oh! (cue the tears)

Happenings....

Figured it might be time to do a real post...just some updates from the land of Mari.

• Mari has grown 2 inches and lost a pound since her birthday in March...needless to say, she is starting to look a little leggy and she has a neck!
• Mari's gross motor skills are doing much better; her muscle tone is still a little on the weaker side especially when she's tired but we have a lot fewer falls and wobbles these days.
• Climbing has become a sport. She can get just about everywhere in the house now and has learned to stack stools on top of each other to get higher. Fun things to get are the timeout timer, markers out of the craft box (good thing she hasn't found the glue or paint yet!), cell phones/remotes/cameras, and any food items.
• Language is crazy...fullout, hilarious conversations. I'm impressed with her grasp of concepts now. She understands things like what to wear outside depending on the weather (I had to buy an umbrella because she was VERY upset we didn't have one). She completely gets possessives..."Mommy, that coke's yours and this is my milk." We have extensive conversations about where birds fly to and why the wind blows.
• Memory. I'm constantly amazed by Mari's memory for names. She can name every character on every TV show. She knows every kid in school, all the mommies and daddies, all the brothers and sisters, all the teachers' spouses and kids. Everyday we leave, she'll say "there's BJ's mommy" and a woman will whip around and smile at her and say "yup, I'm BJ's mommy." (Or whoever it is.) She can usually tell me who the cars in the parking lot belong to, too.
• Mari is starting to do some pretend play. A little bit with dolls and her Little People. We had an incident last week where her pink bunny rabbit was biting her giraffey. Pink bunny rabbit had to apologize and then go to timeout and giraffey needed his boo-boos kissed. Raffey then practiced telling pink bunny rabbit to "stop biting me, that's not nice!" (Can you tell what she hears at school all day?) Luckily the episode of sitting her dolls in the chair and telling them to "sit down and shut up" only happened a couple times and I haven't heard it lately.
• Potty training is going awesomely. Mari has been dry for 3 weeks at night. I'm in no hurry to take away the diaper for bedtime and she doesn't balk at it yet, so why tempt fate? We went shopping on Sunday to 4 stores and then fast food and she never once asked to go potty and was fine. We are averaging 4ish hours between potty breaks and only 1 accident in the last couple weeks!!
• Mari moved up in school this week. She is now in the "older" 2s. Her class was getting new teachers and, since she was due to be moved up in another 6-8 weeks, I asked them to go ahead and move her. She always has difficulties with caregiver changes and I figured it was stupid to transition to a new teacher and then turn around and move again. They were reluctant but agreeable. Her "new" teacher is actually one of her old teachers from a few months ago and most of the kids in the class are familiar because they were with her a few months ago. The transition has gone smoothly and Mari has been so excited about going to school. In the evenings, she is so animated and hyper that I think she is really enjoying her new class. There have been NO signs of the usual rejection/trust issues that I've seen in the past with this type of change. BIG sigh of relief.

I'm sure there's more things I could tell you about. But you're probably tired of reading. And I need to save something for another post.

Mari practicing posing for picture day at school. We finally got good pix this time...4th time she's had school pix and this is the 1st time they came out good!

Making "birthday cake." Actually, banana bread but everything is birthday cake to her!

She's got some hair!

A Mari Masterpiece

Mari working on her Masterpiece!

Evolution of the Turtle

To say that Mari is growing up quickly is an understatement. Her development is absolutely exploding right now. Her language and conversations are off the roof and I'm amazed at the concepts she understands. One of the things that has always amazed me is her ability to remember songs - multiple verses, all the words...it's amazing.

The Turtle Song has been one of her favorites for over 9-10 months. I think she started singing it around Halloween time because she was singing it with her favorite Bumblebee song. I'd never heard the turtle song before and it took me awhile to even figure out that she was saying turtle...the only part I got was the "POP!" A couple weeks ago, I got a little more of it on video but it was still pretty unrecognizable and I still had no clue on the words. Tonight, while in the bathtub, I heard her singing it softly and slowly. I listened carefully and asked her to teach it to me. She did - LINE BY LINE! - repeating each line until I got it....the look on her face when I was able to sing the whole thing with her was UNBELIEVABLE.

So onto the show.....you will now see the evolution of the Turtle Song in two weeks
The words (in case you, like me, do not know the song)
I have a little turtle, his name is Tiny Tim
I put him in the bathtub to see if he could swim
He drank up all the water (glub, glub, glub)
He ate up all the soap (chomp, chomp, chomp)
And now my little turtle, he's got bubbles in his throat
Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles
Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, POP!
(Mari does a little premature POPping!)

The Turtle Song two weeks ago.....

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And the Turtle Song tonight!

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(She can actually do it a little clearer - we had sung it a hundred times by then)

Official Poo-Poo Checker

Another chapter in the Book of Funny Conversations

So....the other morning, I was getting ready for work and I
poo-cracked farted tooted. Mari is very interested in tooting.

Mari: Poo-poo, Mommy?
Mom: No Mari, I just tooted. Excuse me please.
Mari: You poo-poo Mommy?
Mom: No Mari, I did not poo-poo. I just tooted.

Before I knew what was happening, Mari ran around behind me, grabbed the back of my pants and pulled them down half-ways.

Mari: No poo-poo Mommy! Good girl!

Thank you, Official Poo-Poo Checker. What would I do without you?

The Humility of Blue M&Ms

So one of my favorite movies is What a Girl Wants starring Amanda Bynes, Kelly Preston, and Colin Firth (be still my heart!). I won't go into the plot and the reasoning behind my love of this movie...just wanted to give a little background to my story. There is an exchange near the beginning of the movie between mother and teenage daughter, the former trying to cheer up the latter. The mom says "I love you a million swedish fish" and the daughter answers "I love you a million red M&Ms." (Forgive me if I misquote...it's close enough for what I'm trying to explain). It is obvious by the exchange that this has been a private little tradition for the two of them, probably since the daughter was a small child. I really like associating love with intangible amounts of something tangible...and I love candy. So I decided to start this tradition with Mari. If you're still hanging in here...read on for my dose of very cute humility.

The scene: Mari in her PJs, books read, music on, sitting in the rocking chair before bed, head nestled on my shoulder, speaking in very soft, sweet tones.

Mom: Mari, I love you.
Mari: I love you too, Mommy.
Mom: Mari, I love you so much.
Mari: Mommy, I love you so much too.
Mom: I love you more Mari.
Mari: I love you more too so much Mommy.
Mom: Mari, I love you a million blue M&Ms.
Mari sits straight up, looks me in the eye with her eyes flashing bright....
Mari: Mommy, I LOOOOVE Blue M&Ms!!!!!!!

Heritage Camp Calamity (or why I failed at single parenting a hyper 2-yr-old during a weekend getaway)

Disclaimer: This post will be open and honest, my experience at the Ethiopian Heritage and Culture Camp. There were families there having a great time, connecting with other families/kids, learning and growing, etc. There were great classes and seminars, there were activities for children of all ages (although not really geared for toddlers). The staff and coordinators of the camp were sweet, loving individuals whose camp probably was awesome and perfect for a lot of families....it just wasn't for ours. Hopefully in a year or two, Mari and I will try again and be able to enjoy the camp.

Honesty time: We did not have a good time...it was not the place for my two-year-old to learn and grow. There were a couple of kids her age but they participated in activities and enjoyed themselves. Mari was stressed and hyper and clingy and overstimulated the whole time. I kept missing sessions or getting late to speakers because I had difficulty leaving my child with strangers. During the times that we were to do stuff together, she wanted to run off and not be with Mommy. During the times that there were activities for her to participate in, she wanted to be glued to Mommy. During one session, I left her with her group outside (in a large field flanked by woods and a parking lot with a small stream running through it), feeling uneasy as she was just kind of spacing out and not joining in. I even told the caregivers that she has a habit of wandering away and was told she would be watched. Luckily the class that session was in a lodge with big windows overlooking the field. I watched my daughter walk away from the group in the opposite direction from me, cross the stream, and start on into the parking lot. I can run fast when I need to! I took Mari back to class with me but it is hard to get anything out of a class when trying to keep a 2-yr-old quiet. During the campfire that night, Mari wanted nothing to do with singing or roasting marshmallows, she only wanted to get to the lake and see the duckies. (Natural for a 2-yr-old but not really safe at twilight)

Saturday, I had to leave her screaming again with the caretakers in order to make it to class. After that, we went to a family dance class where she made me hold her the whole time. So we scrapped that and went out to the Gebeye (market) they had set up outside and of course, she just wanted to run, run, run away from Mommy. I had to chase her into the woods at one point. So we went back to our car and got our nap stuff (lunch was still 2 hours away even though it was almost M's lunchtime), went into the main lodge and ate some go-gurt and snuggled up to watch Barney on our DVD player. Hot and sweaty and hungry and tired and cranky, Mari thrashed around restlessly while I checked the schedule. The pool was not open yet, lunch was not being served yet, I realized that I had already missed the one session I wanted to get to (Special Adoptions) and the ones in the afternoon were not as important to me.

It was then I took a serious look at things. My goals for the weekend were to have fun with Mari and learn some things for us to do together, connect with other families, and create some great memories. Both of us were miserable at that point. She was overwhelmed and stressed to the point that she really could not handle doing what was asked of her. I was overwhelmed and stressed because I felt like I was spending the whole weekend chasing and scolding and nagging and taking potty trips, etc. I think I could have learned some great things if I had been comfortable enough to leave her to go to the sessions (my mom even offered to keep her so I could go back by myself but I decided this is not what I wanted out of the weekend). And the connecting with families did not happen either. We did meet a few families and exchanged pleasantries but it was not the instant comraderie that I've grown to know in other situations where adoptive families get together. I honestly felt like families were competing to see who was doing a better job with "culture."

Here are some pix. Not many were taken because I was either chasing someone or had that someone glued to my side. I did not get pix of the little kids Mari tried to play with or pix of some of the setups/displays; I had planned to do that later but when I made the decision to leave, it was with finality and peace. We did not make it to the banquet in Mari's beautiful dress...another time, another time.

Panel of speakers

Mari not participating in one of the activities (she's just standing there wondering what the heck is going on). This is when I left her only to go running back out chasing her into the parking lot a few minutes later. Glad I dressed her in orange!



The one time she was truly happy...playing by ourselves on the playground.

The campfire that Mari wanted nothing to do with. That's Mari climbing over the bench in a mad dash for the lake.

Family dance class.

Me and Mari during dance class. Me, hot and sweaty with a hot, sweaty kid attached to me. Mari looking very worried...how her face looked most of the weekend.

The Gebeye (Market)

So, maybe in a year or two, we will try again. If you have pre-K and older kids, you probably would have had a good time. It just missed the mark for us.

Dear Mari, I'm sorry that I don't make you learn a set amount of Amharic words a day. I'm sorry that I do allow you to watch American television instead of Ethiopian television. I'm sorry that we do not cook Ethiopian food every day or talk on the phone with Ethiopians every day. I'm sorry that I'm apparently failing in your upbringing as an Ethiopian. I'm also sorry that my expectations for a great weekend made me forget that you are a normal 2-yr-old who is not ready for large crowds of unfamiliar people. You are not ready to be dropped off in unfamiliar places with strange people. You are not ready to have your whole schedule turned upside down and be expected to be happy and easy-going. Mommy will try harder to respect your needs and remember that great memories only come from having a great time together....it's not the place or the activities that make great memories. It's us. You and me. Doing ordinary things.

Hi - We're Still Alive!

I know, I've been delinquent. Oh well, you'll get over it! Here is a long overdue post and it's long. A lot has been going on so I'm going to try to keep it short.

The last I talked to you was sometime in May. So here are the last two months.

• Birthday Party for friend Braelyn - first pinata, cake, park, and ice cream (the first time Mari has actually eaten ice cream...she had a sensitivity about cold stuff)


• Pool time


• More ice cream


• Birthday Party for friend Daniel - more cake and pool time, sprinkler


• Birthday Party for cousin Madi - more cake


• Birthday Party for Granddad - more cake


• July 4th - visit from cousin Brendan, a jumpy house, more pool time, more cake!


• Birthday Party for friend Brooklyn - rollerskates! and more cake

(Do you see a theme to our summer?)

New things happening with Mari:

• Fully potty-trained (HIP HIP HOORAY!)


• Talking in full conversations, often quite funny ones


• Singing complete songs, over and over and over and over


• Totally IN LOVE with Barney (sigh!)


• Insists on being independent - puts herself to bed by turning on music and humidifier herself, climbing in and out of car and buckling herself in, etc.


• New favorite activites include watercolors, riding bikes, helping Mommy cook


• New not-so-nice things: "I no listen to Mommy." "I no poo-poo today, I not allowed." spitting, kicking, just plain 2-yr-old-ness


• New favorite foods - corn-on-the-cob, whole apples, ice cream and popsicles


• New accomplishments - counts to 20, counts to 5 in Spanish (working on Amharic), knows lots of shapes, knows her safety signs (stop, yield, no walk, etc.), knows the months of the year and days of the week

I have tons of funny sayings and conversations, lots more things she is doing and learning. Just no time these days to write. She is running me ragged. I'm going to try to post more often just so it doesn't take so long to play catchup. So maybe short little posts with some pix. Sound good?

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I ♥ Faces Feet

Just for fun! Entering this week's I ♥ Faces Contest. I typically don't like feet but who can resist these scrumptious little feetsies.

This is Mari engaged in one of her favorite activities...scrubbing the pool.

(Yes, an update post coming soon. It's in the works...just can't seem to get much done with a hyper 2-yr-old around.)

Ethiopia Heritage and Culture Camp!!!

Who is coming?? Mari and I are signed up to attend this year’s Ethiopia Heritage and Culture Camp. It has been hosted on the West Coast for the last decade or so and this year, they have picked a venue on the East Coast….only about 30 minutes from my house!!! That is AMAZING considering that I live in a semi-rural area and definitely not anywhere close to any Ethiopian communities.

So, if you are free July 24-26 and want to learn about Ethiopian culture, come and enjoy the beautiful Shenandoah Valley. There will be cooking lessons, hair braiding, guest speakers, dancing groups, activities for the kids, etc. And the BEST part…meeting with other families. I have a new friend locally that is currently in the waiting process for an infant from Ethiopia and she and her husband will be attending. Ashton will also be coming and we can’t wait to meet him and his family…I get the feeling that he and Mari will be very much kindred spirits and I can’t wait to meet Mike and Jo.

Anyone else going? Put a comment on here and let me know! And it’s not just for adoptive families, it’s open to everyone…so come join us!

I Pledge Allegiance to the Flag

...from the kiddo that's been a citizen for a little over 2 months....