Phooey!

Well, by the lack of pictures here, you can guess that court did not go as I would have hoped. Once again the final paperwork from MOWA did not make it to court in time. Apparently the missing papers from the orphanage made it to MOWA but then no further. So we are set for next Tuesday, December 11th. Let's hope that things will fall into place by then.

So yesterday and today have NOT been good days. The first court delay was disappointing but I was not surprised by it. I was really hopeful for this one...I was more angry than anything. Then, thanks to some very unnecessary "office politics" at work last night, I was in tears most of the night. Very hard to work 12 hours, focusing on other's needs when you haven't had a chance to work out your own. Thankfully it was snowing when I got off this morning (I love snow!) and I was able to take a hot bath and go to bed to wallow in self-pity.

So after a day of sadness and a long phone call from Sharon (CHI's Ethiopia director), I'm in a better frame of mind. I have dealt with the blow and moved on. I'm not going to deal with the work issues...they were not my problem, just aimed at me so I'm putting them behind me and moving on. But I can't wait for maternity leave!!!

So now I'm going to focus on the good things to come out of this (instead of the negatives--the fact that Amari will not be home for Christmas, that she will probably outgrow all the clothes I have for her, that she will be driving by the time she comes home--hahaha!).

1. I will be home with my family for Christmas!
2. I can decorate for Christmas since I will be able to take it down before I leave so the cats don't tear the tree apart while I'm gone.
3. There are more flights available, not necessarily cheaper but more to choose from.
4. There is a good chance I will be in Ethiopia for THEIR Christmas, which will be an unbelieveable experience.
5. The longer I work, the more maternity leave I will have.
6. The further away travel plans are, the further away my maternity leave is, making my need for daycare further away. Maybe we can get through cold/flu and bad weather season before placing Amari in daycare.

I'm sure there are more positives...those are the big ones and the ones I'm focusing on. I'm going to start decorating tonight. I will probably leave the tree for the weekend but I can put out the stockings and other decorations. I will also finish Christmas shopping soon and I am planning on doing some baby shopping this weekend for the few necessities I still need.

I'll keep everyone posted with anything new and I promise I will post pix and details of my baby shower from last Sunday; it was wonderful, I've just been distracted the last few days. I'll also post Christmas decoration pix...cheery posts to make up for these sad ones.

Surprise (belated!) Birthday Party...for me!

So Friday the 13th was a great day. I had a very fulfilling week at work...lots of critically ill/injured patients (which is sad for them and their families but that's why I do my job and love it). Worked very hard and enjoyed it!

I celebrated the start of my weekend off by going to Dunkin Donuts and getting a plain bagel and a coke (I used to do this almost every morning but have curbed that habit to save money). Halfway through the day, I got a call from Sharon (director of the Ethiopian program) who was calling to explain some post-adoption procedures that I had asked about. We had a great conversation. What amazes me is that, while they do this every day as a career choice, everyone at CHI is so genuine in their happiness and excitement for each and every one of us. No one has been nonchalant or removed from the process...very caring. Then I got an email from my friend Deborah (that adopted Kaili last year) that was full of support and kind thoughts (as well as an offer for some outgrown clothes, toys, etc.--very exciting!).

Here's the party part:
I went to my brother Todd's house for dinner with the family (sorry you had to work Dad--we missed you!). I had asked my brother Chad (who works at Best Buy) to look for an MP3 player for me (to take to Ethiopia) when he and Todd went last Saturday. I was surprised that he couldn't find me a good deal. Well, it turned out that the two of them (with their wives) had bought me one for my birthday. Now...the story behind this is that my birthday was several months ago! We don't get into b-days too big and I guess they hadn't gotten me anything yet (I had forgotten). So, tonight they had a german chocolate cake and my presents! They got me an MP3 player and case...it is so cool! It holds music and audio books and also MOVIES! It has a little screen (with an amazing picture) and has 2G of memory. I might be able to handle the plane ride now! Such a sweet thing for them to do! Such a nice little birthday...I'm now 29 and 4 months!

So, the wonderful end to a nice week. I'm very tired but am really wanting to upload stuff to my MP3...so it might be a late night tonight!

Waiting...

My dossier made it to Lindsay on Tuesday. She found one mistake (I won't go into it because it would take me 2 hours to explain it) but hopefully we can get it fixed quickly and easily without any delay (they are working on it in St. Louis). Yes, that is right...Lindsay sent my dossier on to St. Louis (the main CHI branch) for them to check. They were supposed to get it on Thursday and since I haven't heard anything, I'm hoping everything is kosher. Hopefully sometime next week it will make it's way to D.C. I'm guessing that my dossier may make it to Ethiopia by the end of the month, maybe sooner. Then I wait for a referral. I need to call and make an appt to get my shots and start working on my house. The nursery is close to being ready but I need to rearrange some cabinets to acommodate baby bottles and little bowls, etc. I also need to review the house for some child proof issues. I'll save the washing of crib sheets and clothes (all that kind of thing) until I have a referral.

Oh...and the name. I want to narrow my choices down to about 3 or 4 and then once I have a referral, I'll be able to choose. Everytime I try to narrow it down, I just add more to the list. Current front-runners include Amaya, Elena, Gabrielle (Gabby), Isabelle (Izzy), Bethany, and Emily (Emmie). We'll see.

Got to spend some time with my niece Madison (after a 3 week hiatus thanks to a busy work schedule and a contagious virus) yesterday and today. She is almost 5 weeks old and really getting a personality now. She is so pretty! I'll post pix soon. I am upgrading to DSL today so pictures will be a lot faster to upload to post.

Picked up more overtime this weekend...my schedule has gotten so messed up at work (supposed to work every third weekend and I've worked 10 out of 12) so I figured I might as well work on my one weekend off! Can't pass up the money right now...might as well pack it in while I can. Money is definitely becoming an issue the further along in the process I get (come on tax time!). I have applied for a couple grants...not holding my breath but figured it couldn't hurt to try! I have also stopped eating out (to the tune of about $100 month--which is sad considering I enjoy cooking!) and have stopped buying Coke. I know....everyone just had a heart attack! I figured out I was spending at least $20 a week in Coke products! That will buy enough diapers for a week. So, no more Coke! So sad!

That is the update for now.

Weekend Update!

No I-171H yet. I was hoping it would come yesterday but, oh well, I would've had to wait until Monday to do anything with it anyway. Hopefully it will come tomorrow...if it does, I can get it notarized and off to Richmond tomorrow afternoon...planning to have my dossier to CHI by either Friday or next Monday. Depends on the mail and on UPS. It will be nice to have it out of my hands. Then I can start thinking about the future. Start getting my shots, making some lists (I am the queen of list-making) for travelling and prepping, etc. Really start looking at names--MAJOR indecision right now! I won't really be able to pick a name until I see a picture and hear my daughter's given name but I need to narrow it down.

I'm still having panic attacks about travelling. I get nauseated every time I think of getting on the plane. I'm not scared of flying...just don't like being stuck in one place for that long without the option of getting off for a little while! The hardest part will be the 2.5 hour drive to Dulles! We passed the exit on the way to get fingerprinted and I thought I'd lose my lunch thinking about it. Hopefully the excitement will outweigh the nerves.

I am in the throes of my annual summer cold...started with a sore throat the other day and woke up today with all the other fun cold maladies. Unfortunately, this is keeping me from seeing little Maddie--she is too little, I don't want to make her sick! And of course, I have to be sick on my only days off for awhile. I'm trying to work a lot of overtime to make some moolah. Worked two 4 hours shifts the last two nights and on Saturday morning....I delivered a baby!!!!! Okay, I didn't actually catch it but I got to help. After getting the girl out of the car, we checked her real quick and determined we thought we could make it to L&D (the ER is not a great place to deliver a baby!). We made it with about 3 minutes to spare! A beautiful little girl! I won't go into all the details but it was the mom's first kid and to quote her minutes later "Oh, my God. I just had a baby! Is that all there is to it?" I think she better camp on the hospital parking lot if she decides to have anymore! What a great way to end a shift!!

So that is all for now. Back to work tomorrow night, hopefully I'll feel better. If that I-171H comes tomorrow, I'll feel much better.

Update - Nothing New!

Nothing new to report...just waiting. I took Jenni's advice and wrote both my Senators. Both websites had this lengthy form that you could fill out and mail in about resolving issues with government agencies. I didn't really think this applied (yet), so I just emailed them both. I simply explained that my dossier was done except my I-171H and that with the Ethiopian courts closing on Aug 5th (new update from CHI) and not re-opening until Octoberish that it would be nice to have everything done. I requested that they see if they could do anything to expedite the form or at least check the status and get an update on timeframe. I'm hoping that since I emailed them, the form will magically appear before I hear back (yeah, yeah, wishful thinking!!).

I took 2 days of computer classes this week and spent all day today on the cardiac unit orienting so that I can precept the new grads starting next week. It was very interesting to be on a daylight schedule. I have not seen Leno once this week (withdrawal!) and have not stayed up past 10pm...that's usually when I start the laundry and housework. It has actually been very nice to be up with the sun and I can't wait until after the baby gets here and I have to switch to daylight. I have always loved nights because of the autonomy you have with less staff around (and I've always been a night owl!) but I definitely can feel the benefits of being on days. I'm sleeping better--I think this is the first time in a longtime that I've slept 8 solid hours without waking (of course, a baby will change all that) and I'm eating better. Actually had three meals a day the last three days instead of one dinner, one midnight "dinner," and lots of snacks. I plan to stay on nights until maternity leave so I can make more money, but I will welcome the days more than I thought.

With that being said...I'm going to fold the laundry, take a hot bath, and go to bed!

I'm in a posting mood.

I already posted once today...nothing new to report on the adoption front. Kind of emotional at times. I think through this whole process, everything has seemed surreal...almost like I was just going through the motions. Today with all my certified documents in my hands and knowing it was down to one document...it was kind of like getting the official stamp of approval. I kind of expected all along the way for someone to step in and say "what do you think you're doing, you can't do this." Now with these documents all approved, I feel a sense of permanency. I'm not explaining this very well...it's just such a weird emotion. I think being single and being the "baby" in the family, sometimes I don't feel grown up. I still look at my cousin Juli (6 months my senior) and think "I can't imagine her teaching junior-high-schoolers." Likewise, it is hard to imagine me running a busy night shift in the ER. But maybe I am grown-up enough for this!

I remember when I went to the information meeting with CHI (thanks Tammie Perkins) and I asked Tammie what obstacles I would have being single...she gave me a strange look and said, "it's not going to make a difference." She even pointed out that I would have less paperwork to gather than couples and couples with kids. Point taken! I also had a dream a while back that I was reading our chat group and one of the members whispered (like you can whisper on a computer!) that she had heard that CHI was kicking me out but they weren't going to tell me. Needless to say, that has not happened.

So, I'm traveling a new road in life. Not sure why this step hit home more than the others...I think the stress and exhaustion surrounding all the paperwork has left me emotionally drained. I can't wait for Stacie and Jenni and some of the others to get their referrals. What a boost in the adoption moral that will be!

I start a new job tomorrow. Not really a new position as much as a new role within my position. I will be taking the new nursing school grads and precepting them through their mentorship program within the hospital. It gives me an opportunity to do some teaching (which I love) in a more controlled environment, rather than trying to teach and work a trauma at the same time. It is kind of a trial run to see if the new grads benefit and may turn into something permanent. I'll still work my weekends in the ER and anytime the orientees have a class, etc. Once I've trained all the current new grads, I'll be back to straight ER...that is the current plan. About the only big change is that I'll get to pick my own schedule but I'm staying with nightshift (desparately saving every penny and that shift differential is very lucrative).

So, we'll see what this week holds. May prove to be one of the strangest ones I've had for awhile. I've not had much change in my life lately; just cruising along for the ride. Time to shake things up before the major earthquake (parenthood) hits!