I don't wanna be like Cinderella!

Update on the adoption front--NOTHING!!! Emailed Lindsay yesterday (for my weekly nagging about referrals--she promises me I'm not nagging but she probably commits hari-kari everytime she sees my email address...just kidding! Lindsay is great, very patient!). Anyway she said no news, but maybe some referrals in the next couple weeks...whether mine is among these remains to be seen. Please, Please, Please.

So, shifting gears. Lots of people ask me why I'm not married (is this really a question that needs to be asked?). Hmmm...maybe because I've never met someone who I want to marry, or vice versa. I'm not gay, I'm not mean, I'm not a moocher...I'm extremely shy, socially inept, overweight and intimidating. That last one floored me...I had a coworker tell me a couple years ago that he (if he was still in the "market for a girl") would find me very intimdating! Since when is owning my own house and being independent intimidating? Sure I'd LOVE to be married, never thought I wouldn't be...but I also know that my life is not going to be put on hold while all the guys around get over their inferiority complex because I know how to mow the lawn and handle a drill!

So in honor of that sentiment, here are the lyrics to a wonderful song that sums it up perfectly! (When I get it figured out, I'll actually make the song play on my blog...still working that one out!).

Cinderella

When I was just a little girl
My momma used to tuck me into bed and she'd read me a story.
It was always 'bout a princess in distress and how the guy would save her
And end up with the glory.
I'd lie in bed and think about the person that I wanted to be,
Then one day I realized the fairytale life
Wasn't for me.

I don't wanna be like Cinderella,
Sitting in her dark cold dusty cellar,
Waiting for somebody to come and set me free.
I don't wanna be like Snow White, waiting
For a handsome prince to come and save me
On a horse of white, unless we're riding side by side.
Don't wanna depend on no one else.
I'd rather rescue myself!

Someday I'm gonna find someone
Who wants me body, soul, heart, and mind,
Who's not afraid to show that he loves me.
Somebody who will understand
I'm happy just the way that I am.
Don't need nobody taking care of me.
I will be there for him, just as strong as he will be there for me
When I tell myself it has got to be an equal thing.

Chorus

I can slay my own dragons.
I can dream my own dreams.
My night in shining armor is ME.
So I'm gonna set me free!

Chorus

Nerd Alert!

Weekend's over, so sad!

My long weekend has come to an end. I managed to get in some shopping, cleaning, laundry, relaxing, and recovering.


Not to scare anyone that still has to get their shots but here is what my arm looks like 48 hours after my yellow fever shot. Surprisingly, it doesn't hurt (unless I poke at it too much)...it hurt when I got it though. It hurt enough that the other four shots were not noticeable. The tables turned about 12 hours later when all the other ones got sore...had some stiffness lifting my arms (made folding laundry a more loathsome task than usual). But now they are pretty much better except the ugliness from the yellow fever shot...with my fair skin, I tend to be hypersensitive to anything that causes a reaction so I shouldn't be surprised. Other than a little fatigue and nausea, I think I faired pretty well for 5 shots at once.


Went to the movies yesterday with my sister-in-law and her step-mom Sylvia. Lesa is a bigger musical freak than I am (didn't think that was possible!!). So we went to see Hairspray. It was really good...it was pretty funny but then you add in the fact that Christopher Walken is married to a very robust John Travolta dressed as a women--hysterical. I will be adding this soundtrack to my MP3 player.

Went shopping today with Mom...I bought this shelf with the canvas totes thinking it was going to be bigger and could place under the nursery window. When I assembled it and saw the size, I took down the plain, ugly shelf in the nursery and put this up in its place...much better. And the lamp looks like it is part of the set...what luck.

I also bought some new pajamas from Wal-Mart. They are Hanes Tagless; they are all separates and in different styles. I know this is a weird thing to blog about but they are SO comfortable and fit so good, I may never wear real clothes again. I may just wear them on the plane.

I even got in some relaxing (okay, I slept--but that is relaxing!). Here is a great picture of all my animals getting along...who said cats are the only ones that like to play with yarn. It is amazing how many different directions one piece of string can be pulled at once!

Old Pix

Nothing new on the adoption front. Hopefully my paperwork will be leaving the US tomorrow. Lindsay said Thursday or Friday and since I didn't hear anything today, I'm hoping for tomorrow!

Since I have nothing new to report, I thought I'd take a trip down memory lane. I thought it would be fun to scan in some old pix and post them. I hate having my picture taken but I love all the old ones from my childhood...I'm going to have to steal some from Mom and Dad the next time I go over so I can scan them in. Here are a couple of cute ones.

This is me in January 1981 (according to the note on the back). I was almost 3 and this is one of my favorite pictures.




Here is a picture of my brothers, Chad on the left and Todd on the right. Todd is 18 months older than Chad but Chad is already taller than his older brother, even at such a young age (sorry Todd!). Yes, we lived in WV and apparently were Pittsburgh Pirates fans (check out the caps). Also check out the records in the background. Again, this was probably around 1980-81 (Chad would have be 4-5, Todd 6-7).

I love this family portrait...Mom or Dad, maybe you could help me out with the date? I'm thinking 1980 (me 2, Chad 4, Todd 5 1/2 ?). Chad is already taller than Todd! In the background is a family portrait from when I was a baby...I'll try to get a copy of that to scan in--so 1970's!

Hope everyone enjoyed the pictures. More later!

Product Plug

Since there is nothing happening on the adoption front...I'll put in a plug for a great new product I found. I've had this nasty cold for about 6 days (thanks to spending an hour one-on-one with a croupy kid in the ER Friday night...adult don't get croup but the virus that causes croup can give you a cold virus...sort of like RSV). So I woke up this afternoon feeling like you-know-what and I had exhausted all my OTC meds (which I have quite a collection of) so I decided to try these shower soothers tablets. I bought them last year but had never tried them. You just stick one on the shower floor and it dissolves under the water...kind of makes your shower into a giant vaporizer. Can I say OMG! It totally broke up the chest congestion, the snot is flowing freely from the nostrils again (remember--you are reading a blog written by a nurse, sorry if I gross you out!), what an amazing relief. I just hope it lasts. If not, back to the shower. BTW, Ollie's sinuses are clear now too! He always sits on the bathroom rug and waits on me to get out of the shower--separation anxiety.

So next time you have a cold, don't underestimate the power of eucalyptus and menthol steaming up all around you. AHHHHHH! (That was me breathing through my nose again!).

I'm in a posting mood.

I already posted once today...nothing new to report on the adoption front. Kind of emotional at times. I think through this whole process, everything has seemed surreal...almost like I was just going through the motions. Today with all my certified documents in my hands and knowing it was down to one document...it was kind of like getting the official stamp of approval. I kind of expected all along the way for someone to step in and say "what do you think you're doing, you can't do this." Now with these documents all approved, I feel a sense of permanency. I'm not explaining this very well...it's just such a weird emotion. I think being single and being the "baby" in the family, sometimes I don't feel grown up. I still look at my cousin Juli (6 months my senior) and think "I can't imagine her teaching junior-high-schoolers." Likewise, it is hard to imagine me running a busy night shift in the ER. But maybe I am grown-up enough for this!

I remember when I went to the information meeting with CHI (thanks Tammie Perkins) and I asked Tammie what obstacles I would have being single...she gave me a strange look and said, "it's not going to make a difference." She even pointed out that I would have less paperwork to gather than couples and couples with kids. Point taken! I also had a dream a while back that I was reading our chat group and one of the members whispered (like you can whisper on a computer!) that she had heard that CHI was kicking me out but they weren't going to tell me. Needless to say, that has not happened.

So, I'm traveling a new road in life. Not sure why this step hit home more than the others...I think the stress and exhaustion surrounding all the paperwork has left me emotionally drained. I can't wait for Stacie and Jenni and some of the others to get their referrals. What a boost in the adoption moral that will be!

I start a new job tomorrow. Not really a new position as much as a new role within my position. I will be taking the new nursing school grads and precepting them through their mentorship program within the hospital. It gives me an opportunity to do some teaching (which I love) in a more controlled environment, rather than trying to teach and work a trauma at the same time. It is kind of a trial run to see if the new grads benefit and may turn into something permanent. I'll still work my weekends in the ER and anytime the orientees have a class, etc. Once I've trained all the current new grads, I'll be back to straight ER...that is the current plan. About the only big change is that I'll get to pick my own schedule but I'm staying with nightshift (desparately saving every penny and that shift differential is very lucrative).

So, we'll see what this week holds. May prove to be one of the strangest ones I've had for awhile. I've not had much change in my life lately; just cruising along for the ride. Time to shake things up before the major earthquake (parenthood) hits!

Tagged

Okay, I got tagged by Stacie...not really sure what this is about but I'll play along. I certainly have nothing better to do (what with my very busy social life, and all!). Looks like fun anyway.

FOODOLOGY

What is your salad dressing of choice? Don't usually use any but Italian if I have to pick one

What is your favorite fast food restaurant? McDonald's

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Applebees

On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? 15% and then round up to even number

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? potatoes in any form (fried, baked, mashed, boiled, in soup, etc.)

What is your favorite type of gum? Dentyne Fire

TECHNOLOGY

What is your wallpaper on your computer? A picture of my dog and two cats laying on my guest bed together

How many televisions are in your house? 2

BIOLOGY

What’s your best feature? my sweet disposition!!

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Yes...an accessory navicular bone from my left foot (in other words, an extra bone--I still have one in my right foot)

Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Smell--very sensitive

When was the last time you had a cavity? currently

What is the heaviest item you lifted last? patients at work

Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Maybe when I was little and Jimmy hit me in the head with a softball? He didn't want me to play but my brothers let me and he beamed me!

BULLOLOGY

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? NO

Is love for real? I hope so!

If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? I like my name, not too many people have it!

What color do you think looks best on you? Blue

Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Quite possibly

Have you ever saved someone’s life? Quite a few times but, not heroically...just part of my everyday job

Has someone ever saved yours? In a round-about way, I'm sure some of the decisions my parents made saved me many times but I don't remember any specific life-threatening instances

DAREOLOGY

Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? Absolutely, as long as the public street was far, far away and no one took pictures!

Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? Not for $100, maybe for a couple million

Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? No way

Would you never blog again for $50,000? Probably, but I'd find another way to communicate

Would you pose nude in a magazine for $250,000? I'd break the camera, so it's not really an option!

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000? No.

Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? NO

Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? Yes

Give up MySpace forever for $30,000? I don't have a myspace page but if someone would pay me to give it up, I'll hurry up and create one!

DUMBOLOGY:

What is in your left pocket? My right hand...just kidding, no pockets today

Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie? Never finished it

Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house? Both

Do you sit or stand in the shower? stand

Could you live with roommates? Sure

How many pairs of flip-flops do you own? 1 very well-worn pair

Last time you had a run-in with the cop? Run into them all the time at work

What do you want to be when you grow up? A mom

Last friend you talked to? Maria, she called me on her way to work to thank for for switching days with her...truth is, it was a big help to me because I hate Sunday nights in the ER!

Last person you called? Mom

RANDOMOLOGY

First place you went this morning? Came home from work

What can you not wait to do? Baby time!

What’s the last movie you saw? The Holiday

Are you a friendly person? I hope so


So, now I'm supposed to tag three people, but I don't know anyone else that blogs. So no tags :< !!!!

My Lucky Charm - I hope!

Here is a picture of the necklace I ordered and received in the mail yesterday. The three symbols on it represent the different facets of adoption. The sun is for the birthmother who gave the child life, the heart is for the adoptive mother who will forever love the child, and the star in the middle is for the child who connects them. I have mine on right now and hopefully everytime I need a little pick-me-up...I can touch it and remember what this journey is all about. I also bought two more to carefully store away. One will be given to my daughter on a special day when she is mature enough and interested enough to understand the symbolism. I will also take one with me to Ethiopia if I think there is any chance of meeting the birth mother (that is, if she is alive and known). Sometimes this is an option and I think it would be wonderful to give her a small thank you gift for her amazing sacrifice.

Starting out!

Well, this is my first post and I will try to bring you up to speed. I have been officially approved today from the last person (the director of the Ethiopian program). The agency is still waiting on their final set of signatures from the Ethiopian Ministry of Justice for their accreditation. Nothing can go forward until that happens but it should be done any day now and I still have a couple of months of paperwork to do anyway. I have kind of been greenlighted to be part of the "pilot" group of about 25 families that can go ahead and do my paperwork and then submit when it's done or the accreditation comes through (whichever is last). This "pilot" group is made up of families thatwill represent America well and build a good reputation with Ethiopia to develop a strong program for future families--something like that! Why I got chosen for this...I don't know. (Dad, I think this had something to do with you because I mentioned in my application that you were planning to come with me and you had been to Kenya twice...they seemed to feel this would be very beneficial to me. So, thanks for laying the groundwork...you never know how things you do will affect things later!).

The next step is to do my home study (no, this does not mean they come in and study my home). This consists of gathering documents that verify my life; financial statements, employment verification, criminal history checks, reference letters, etc. They also have you write an autobiography and question you on things about how you were raised, how you plan on raising a child, how you feel about transracial adoption, etc. After the home study is done, I complete my dossier. The dossier consists of the home study plus all the "government" stuff. Fingerprints, INS clearance, passport, birth certificate, etc. All this has to be quadruple checked, notarized, authenticated, etc etc etc. All this could take 2-6 months. After that, I wait for my referral.

A referral is when a child is chosen for you. They send you a picture, medical profile, and any other info they have (all children are tested for HIV, Hepatitis, TB, and syphilis). If you accept the referral, you fly to Ethiopia within about 2 months to get your kid. Because I'm in the "pilot" program and they have already established their program in the orphanages over there, the referral will only take about 0-3 months!! Usually this take 3-6 (or 12-24 months in some countries). Because I'm asking for an infant girl, it could take a little longer than 3 months.

The Ethiopian government is closed from July to mid-Sept. for break. So no adoptions can be finalized during this time. Referrals can still be issued but children can not leave the country so it looks like it will be at least October or later. Which is not that far away...hope I'm ready!!!!! Then again it could take until next year depending on any obstacles I hit. So, one step at a time.